Car Pr0n

I am a modest guy in general. I change the channel when I see beer ads featurng half naked women. I avert my eyes in the movie theatre when there is gratutious nudity on the screen. I have never purchased a Playboy magazine or anything like that. I never buy a car magazine with bikini-clad women in it because I think that is just stupid. I mean, take the picture I posted here of a woman in a rather modest bathing suit draped over a car. I don't need the woman, just show me the car. But wait, is that a cow print painted Miata? Ewww, maybe I will make an exception for this, I think I would rather look at the woman.

I know what you're thinking: "Gee Chris, you sound gay to me." Well no, it's not that I am not attracted to women, it's quite the opposite actually. I love women, I think they're great. But for a me, staring at half naked or naked women all the time is like asking an alcoholic to watch beer commercials, it is a road I do not want to go down. We all have animal sides to our nature, I just want to keep mine under control. There are plenty of good images out there that I want to fill my mind with, I don't need to fill it with tasteless images of women, or men for that matter. I bet if I was gay I would probably avoid the same types of images of men anyway, that is just how I am.

But when it comes to design and engineering I love to stare at a good car and strip it down with my eyes and have naughty thoughts like: "I wonder if that car puts out............more than 300 horsepower." Or perhaps: "I bet that car could suck............enough air to support 20 lbs of turbo boost." I once almost spun my car into a ditch because I was straining to look at a Porsche 911 slantnose.

So I decided to make a list of some of the most seductive cars ever made. Here it goes:

Aston Martin DB5-

Sean Connery, James Bond, all sexy. Seriously, I do not know if it gets sexier than an Aston Martin DB5. If a minivan says "I've given up trying to be sexy" a DB5 says "I age like fine wine." I'll have my Aston in silver...shaken, not stirred. They actually brought the DB5 back to the Bond series in Goldeneye, fitting since it appeared first in Connery's Goldfinger. You can view the DB5 in action in the clip below.

BMW 507-

The greatest BMW you never heard of, the 507. It was made in the late fifties and was a class act. BMW tried to emulate the 507 with the Z3, Z4 and Z8. But nothing beats the original. Just look at it, simply gorgeous. When I look at it I don't imagine sitting in those seats so much as I imagine those seats having their wicked way with me as the wind runs its fingers through my hair and the vibration from the exhaust digs its fingernails into my back. This car is so cute it would make John McCain look like Colin Farrel.

Ferrari 250-

Bueller...Bueller...Bueller. Yes that iconic car from Ferris Bueller is perhaps the sexiest car of all time. There were a number of variations of the 250, the California GT was the one they chose for the movie, but all of them were gorgeous. Ironically in the movie it was only a replica of the original Ferrari, but it still got the job done because sometimes stuffing your pants or padding your bra actually works. I found a compilation of some of the Ferrari scenes on youtube. The first scene, where they first look at the car, is perhaps one of the greatest scenes in automotive movie history, oh yeah...beautiful, so beautiful.

1977 Corvette-

Once upon a time American car companies could actually make decent looking cars. Sadly a gorgeous American made car is far too rare an occrence these days. This black late seventies Corvette is proof that Americans can make pretty cars. But be careful, if you drive this car do not grow a mustache or wear a silk shirt unbuttoned with a gold chain around your neck; otherwise someone might ask you odd questions about "the swinging lifestyle" or something.

Porsche 356-

Steve McQueen's love interest in Bullitt drove one, my wife wants one... so do I. But what makes the Porsche 356 so sexy? Two words: Top Gun. Before Tom Cruise went off the deep end he was as cool as the other side of the pillow in the eighties. In the movie Top Gun Kelly McGillis drove a Porsche 356. She chased him down on his motorcycle in it and then made out with him, how awesome is that? Want to know what is even better? The video of the song "Take my breath away" by Berlin shows the scene where the Porsche is flying through traffic. Man, I love the eighties. Check out the video, the Porsche is at about 2:30

Lamborghini Miura-

Before Lamborghini became famous for its scissor style doors they made the Miura. Legend has it that Ferruccio Lamborghini was dissatisfied with the clutch of his Ferrari 250gt and went to the factory to complain to Enzo Ferrari about it. Apparently Lamborghini was so upset at the way he was treated by Ferrari, he decided to start a car company to compete with Ferrari. The Miura is the first Lamborghini model that pushed the enevelope as far as design goes. The doors were designed to look like the horns of a bull when they were open.

BMW M5-

Have you ever met someone and not really realize they are incredibly attractive at first? Maybe they do not flaunt their looks, maybe they even play it down on purspose. But once you get to know this person you find them incredibly attractive. They often are a great combination of looks, character and intellect. Well that describes the BMW M5. In particular I find the last model the most alluring. At first sight you have no idea what the car really is. The fact is that the E39 5 series of BMWs is perhaps the best designed midsize sedan of all time. Here is the good news: you can get a high mileage M5 for around $22k, thus making it one of the most attainable cars in ths list.

Toyota Supra-

The only Japanese car I am going to put on this list, the Supra was a true great. They are currently holding their value like few cars can. You can easily spend $30k to $40k on a nice Supra. The sport roof was the best though, the benefits of a convertible without the loss of structural strength. The sexiest thing about this car was the ability of the engine to take on huge turbos. You know what they say about guys with big turbos right?...They have big boost.

This car was made famous in the movie The Fast and the Furious.

There were so many cars I could have put on this list. But I settled for the ones here. I would love to hear what cars you think are too hot for TV. Feel free to leave a comment!